How My College Best Friend (Now Enemy) Betrayed Me
“Oh, by the way, your ex and I are in a relationship now.”
It was my Sophomore year of college. I was excited to return to campus after the amazing year I had before. The majority of my friends lived out of state, so I hadn’t seen them all summer. Although my British soulmate would no longer be attending, I had high hopes for my next college love fling.
On move-in day, I saw a lot of old and new faces around campus. One of my friends from last year became my roommate that year. I already had a feeling of what the year had in store. After everyone settled into their new apartments, the meet and greets began. My roommate and I were super outgoing, so we went to meet other students throughout the building. I attended a smaller university, so you get to know everyone pretty fast.
Fast-forward weeks into the semester…
I was finally introduced to the girl I thought I would be friends with forever. Our conversations started with the usual “where are you from, what’s your major?”. After a few hangouts and deep conversations, we realized how similar we were.
From that point on, we became inseparable, like yin and yang. The entire school knew about our friendship, it was a relationship a lot of people don’t get to experience in their lifetime. From our dances, secret handshakes, first YouTube video, lunch dates, and sleepovers… This girl was my soulmate of a best friend.
Our friendship fell apart when we returned home for summer break. She lived in NYC, so we couldn’t see each other as much as we used to. To make up for the lost time, we would talk and text on the phone from sun up to sundown.
Meanwhile, my ex-boyfriend from high school returned to my life that summer, and I started to spend a lot of my time with him. Of course, my bestie and I would still talk on the phone a lot, but things changed even more once I started my job. A lot of my time was with my boyfriend or at work, he and I then became inseparable.
No, I never cut my friend off for a guy… Keep reading…
Over time, my best friend, and I’s conversations started to become minimal by the day when I told her how busy I was. She did not have a significant other in her life and did not work at the time. She had more freedom than I did at that point in our lives. I tried to create balance within my life by making sure I had time for work, my best friend, and my boyfriend. You learn in life that some people will never be understanding, no matter how much you want them to understand.
After a long day of work, I showered and got in bed. While scrolling, I came across tweets from my “best friend” ranting, “My mom is right, people say they’re busy but aren’t doing anything for real.” So I thought, ok, she’s upset and misses our all-day-everyday communication. After all, I’m sure you guys realize she was a bit of a clingy friend. Then again, I was also thinking of the friendship we had and why she couldn’t speak to me about how she was feeling.
With me not being confrontational, and not wanting to assume… I did not address the tweets she posted… because if the shoe fits, you should wear it… right?
A week goes by, and I realized she never called me. We didn’t even speak on social media. Pride is a bitch. I felt like I didn’t need any closure, I knew our friendship was over. But why? Because my life became busier than it was in the past? All because I couldn’t sit on the phone and talk all day long?.. So many questions ran through my mind, but at that point, I didn’t give a shit.
I tried calling her, but our conversations became a bit awkward. There was this huge elephant in the room that no one wanted to address… and like that, our friendship was no longer the same. We stopped calling each other, we stopped texting completely. My soulmate of a best friend was no longer in my life.
I used to cut people out of my life so easily because I was weird with emotions. I carried this tough demeanor… Yet, I was sad inside. I’ve always lived by the saying “here today, gone tomorrow.” It helped me cope with the fact that people won’t be in our lives forever. This situation reminded me of why I remain detached from people.
I shared so many memories and secrets with this girl. For it all to end? Like that? All over something so small? Was it ever a friendship? Who knows. A lot of situations I’ve experienced where I should know how I felt, I didn’t. I was like a robot when it came to my emotions.
So I moved on…
Years later, I received a text message from my ex-best friend, “Hey, I’ll be in Maryland this weekend and wanted to know if you would like to talk.” I was confused and in disbelief that It’s been years, and she now decides to reach out to me. There were no longer any bitter feelings about the loss of our friendship, so I was willing to talk at that point.
Life happened, so we didn’t end up meeting in person, we decided that a phone call will do.
We went through the usual phone greetings and started to talk as if we weren't just friends for a few years, and never had a falling out. We discussed our new YouTube guru interests, the shows we love to watch, new music, etc… Everything was mentioned except the reason our friendship ended. I then started to wonder what this “talk” she wanted to have with me was actually about.
This is where everything took a turn for the worse…
As we got into the conversation about everyone we recently saw or spoken with since college… my ex “best friend” goes on to say, “oh, by the way, your ex and I are in a relationship now.”
Silence.
Filled with rage. So many thoughts ran through my mind. Why was this not the first thing she told me? Is this the only reason she called me? Which ex? How dare you betray me? I’ve never believed in fighting over a man, but, this situation was a lot different. Here I was expecting our friendship to be rekindled and for us to get back on good terms. And here she was, only calling me about her latest fling with a guy I once adored.
The guy my ex-best friend decided to tell me she was now dating was the same guy she caught cheating on me while we were in college. It was the same guy that was best friends with the guy she was dating back then. No one owes me anything, but this girl broke the “girl code”.
She gave me nothing but insults as I told her why she was wrong and trash.
We were getting nowhere. My respect for her was gone… I hung up the phone… shocked, and confused.
From that day on, we never spoke again.
My soulmate of a best friend became history to me.
Have you had a friend break the “girl code” before? Comment below.
